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Announcing: How to do Stoic Therapy

This post was originally published on my Substack newsletter.

I’m doing a live conversation on Substack with Phil Yanov on How to Do Stoic Therapy for the Conversations with Modern Stoicism series.

We’ll be talking about how Stoic philosophy can be applied in practice — not just as a set of ideas, but as a way of working with emotions, values, habits, and everyday problems.

Friday, May 15
12:00 PM ET / 9:00 AM PT / 5:00 PM UK

This should be especially useful for anyone interested in Stoicism, psychotherapy, coaching, emotional resilience, or philosophy as a way of life. Everyone is welcome to join us live, or watch the recording afterwards.

Join us live here or click the button below:

Join Live Stream

Bring your questions. We’ll try to take some from the audience during the session.

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Bear in mind the social consequences of your actions…

This post was originally published on my Substack newsletter.

Just as the propositions, “It is day,” and “It is night,” are full of meaning when separated, but meaningless if united; so also, granted that for you to take the larger share at a dinner is good for your body, still, it is bad for the maintenance of the proper kind of social feeling. When, therefore, you are eating with another person, remember to regard, not merely the value for your body of what lies before you, but also to maintain your respect for your host.

Commentary

The Socratic Method of question and answer was an attempt to expose contradictions. Socrates believed that reason directs us to resolve contradictions in our own thinking when they’re made obvious enough to us. Something can’t be true if it’s a contradiction in terms. This idea that thoughts need to be, at the very least, coherent spread its influence throughout ancient philosophy and permeated Stoicism. Today psychologists refer to the discomfort caused by awareness of contradictions in our own thinking as “cognitive dissonance”.


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Hand Gestures for Self-Improvement

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How can Stoicism Help Kids?

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In this episode, I chat with Claudia Mills, an emerita professor of philosophy and award-winning author of more than sixty books for young readers. Her new novel, Calliope Callisto Clark and the Search for Wisdom, is about a difficult young student who joins a philosophy club seeking the wisdom she needs to keep her beloved but equally difficult dog.

Stoicism: Philosophy as a Way of Life is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Highlights

  • To what extent do you think children can benefit from learning about ancient philosophy?

  • Do you think there are any ways in which children have an advantage over adults when it comes to learning about Greek philosophy?

  • How can parents help their children to learn about and benefit from philosophy?

  • What is wisdom?

  • What drew you to Epictetus in particular for this story?

  • What about Socrates and Plato?

  • What are the problems faced by Calliope, and how does philosophy help her?

  • In what ways do you think children could potentially benefit from ancient philosophy in terms of their psychological well being?

Links

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When Reading about Stoicism isn’t Enough

This post was originally published on my Substack newsletter.

Many people come to Stoicism through books, quotations, podcasts, or online articles. That can be a very good beginning. Sooner or later, though, most of us discover that understanding Stoic ideas is not the same as being able to apply them when we are stressed and under pressure. That is where one-to-one coaching can sometimes help.

I began my training in counselling and psychotherapy around three decades ago, after completing my first degree in philosophy. Since then, I’ve been exploring ways to combine philosophy and therapy, through books such as How to Think Like a Roman Emperor and How to Think Like Socrates, and also through my coaching practice.

The clients I work with, typically through weekly or bi-weekly Google Meet video calls, come from all over the world, and all sorts of different backgrounds. Their goals almost always fall, however, into one of two broad categories:

  • Living a more meaningful and fulfilling life, in accord with their core values

  • Coping more resiliently with stress, and emotions such as anger, sadness, or anxiety

For many years, as a psychotherapist in the UK, I specialized in the treatment of clinical anxiety disorders but in recent years I’ve become more interested in helping people with anger. I work with a wide variety of men and women, though, from different backgrounds, who are dealing with a variety of other problems.

In this article, I’m going to briefly explain a bit more about how Stoicism can be employed in coaching. At the end, I have provided details on how you can contact me if you’re interested in booking a session.

Stoicism in Coaching

It would be easy to write a whole book about Stoicism and coaching, or to talk about it for days and days, because it’s such a rich subject, but I’ll keep it brief here by just focusing on two key concepts, which correspond with the areas I mentioned above: your life values and emotional resilience.

Life Values

People are often drawn to Stoicism because of the emphasis it places on the cardinal virtues: wisdom, justice, fortitude, and temperance. Underlying that, though, there’s a profound philosophical insight about the nature of motivation. Stoicism, like other ancient “virtue ethics”, makes a sharp distinction between the value we place on our own character traits (virtues) and the value we place on external “goods”, which Epictetus glosses as “health, wealth, and reputation”. We can choose to act more consistently in accord with our core character-based values, from moment to moment, but whether or not we achieve external success is always partly in the hands of fate.

We find a remarkably similar distinction, between different types of values, at the heart of modern evidence-based psychotherapy. Research has now confirmed that people who suffer from clinical depression tend to place a disproportionate amount of emphasis on external outcomes, in the future, and to forget about the value they can derive, each moment, from their own actions. It’s natural to work toward external goals but if we lose sight of our own character, life can begin to feel empty and devoid of real meaning. The same issue can affect other emotions, for instance, if we worry more about what other people think of us rather than asking whether our current actions are aligned with our values, we can end up with nothing but anxiety.

Coaching, one to one, provides an excellent way to reflect on, and clarify your goals and values, and track how consistently your actions each day align with them. If you’re only concerned about “What ifs” and the future, it’s difficult to keep yourself grounded in the reality of the here and now, which is our natural home, and locus of control. Connecting with your values, in the right way, can make life more enriching, and solve a number of emotional problems, by putting you back in the driving seat, rather than allowing “other stuff” to take over your life. Stoicism teaches us how to get our lives back on track by studying our own values more carefully, from a philosophical perspective.

Emotional Resilience

The pioneer of cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), Albert Ellis, taught a passage from the Stoic Handbook of Epictetus to all of his clients. We can probably say this is the most famous Stoic quote of all.

People are not disturbed by events, but by their opinions about them. — Enchiridion, 5

That’s the foundation of what we call the “cognitive” theory of emotion today. However, there’s another passage at the beginning of the Handbook, which I find equally important.

Straightaway then practise saying to every troubling impression, “You are just an impression, and not entirely what you appear to be.” — Enchiridion, 1

The Stoics believed that strong emotions, such as fear and anxiety, can take over when we allow ourselves to identify certain impressions we have with reality. Today, psychologists call these impressions “automatic thoughts”, and the process of becoming trapped in them is often called “cognitive fusion”. When we become angry or afraid, for instance, we get the impression that something bad is going to happen, or has already harmed us. We then fuse that idea so tightly with reality, that we begin to take it for granted, for a while, without slowing down to examine whether it could be clouding our judgment and leading us into deeper problems.

It’s not necessarily even that our initial thoughts or impressions are false, in the conventional sense, but rather that we accept them too inflexibly, especially when they contain strong value judgments that evoke powerful emotions. If I get the impression that someone doesn’t like me, it’s possible I could be mistaken. Even if I’m right, though, I may risk falling into the trap of treating their criticism of me as “AWFUL” and “UNBEARABLE”, my emotions making me forgetful that these are my own subjective evaluations. Other people, perhaps wisely, might judge the same situation to be merely unfortunate but not awful, and as difficult but not unbearable.

The perspective of a life coach, and the teachings of Stoicism and modern psychology, can help us to gain perspective on our own emotions. We can train ourselves to pause and examine troubling impressions, as Epictetus advised. We now know that the ability to separate thoughts from facts can not only help reduce the intensity of certain emotions but also provides us with greater psychological flexibility, which means that we will tend to engage in more constructive problem-solving, and make better decisions over time. This comes from developing our ability to think clearly, and look at the bigger picture, rather than allowing fear and anger to hold us captive.

Interested in One-to-One Coaching?

I currently have a few openings for one-to-one coaching over the next few weeks. Have you struggled to apply Stoicism or CBT to problems such as anger, anxiety, stress, procrastination, or relationship conflicts? Coaching with me may be suitable if you are dealing with these kinds of problems, or if you have reached a point in life where you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure how to move forward.

In practice, coaching usually involves clarifying the problem you want to work on, identifying the thoughts, emotions, and ways of coping that potentially keep it going, and then developing practical strategies to help you respond differently in daily life.

If you are interested in working with me, please get in touch and let me know what you would like help with:

Contact me

I’ll reply with more information about my current availability, fees, and the next steps for booking an initial session. Note: Because I only see coaching clients on a limited number of days each week, I can only take on a small number of new clients at a time.

Best wishes,

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What Marcus Aurelius Can Teach Us About Coping with Stress

This post was originally published on my Substack newsletter.

In this episode, I chat with Mark Forstater, the producer of over 30 films, including Monty Python and the Holy Grail. He is the author of a number of books, including The Spiritual Teachings of Marcus Aurelius, The Spiritual Teachings of Seneca, and The Living Wisdom of Socrates, as well as books on yogic philosophy and Daoism. His most recent book, The 7th Python: A Twat’s Tale, documents his experience of working with the Pythons, and a protracted legal battle that he found himself fighting, and winning, decades later.

Stoicism: Philosophy as a Way of Life is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Highlights

  • How did you get into Marcus Aurelius and Seneca? What motivated you to adapt them for modern readers and what are the main ideas that you take from their writings?

  • You’ve also written about Socrates, how do you feel he compares with the Stoics as a guide today?

  • What, if anything, do you think that working in movies can teach us about how the mind works?

  • Have you found Stoic ideas helpful during stressful periods in your own life? During your legal battles for example?

  • Could you imagine there being another movie about Marcus Aurelius?

Links

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Conversations with Chris Williamson

This post was originally published on my Substack newsletter.

I’ve been a guest four times now on Chris Williamson’s Modern Wisdom podcast and it’s probably one the most-viewed things that I’ve done. Here are links to all four videos. Feel free to share!

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Let other people witness your actions…

This post was originally published on my Substack newsletter.

When you do a thing which you have made up your mind ought to be done, never try not to be seen doing it, even though most people are likely to think unfavourably about it. If, however, what you are doing is not right, avoid the deed itself altogether; but if it is right, why fear those who are going to rebuke you wrongly?

Commentary

Marcus Aurelius likewise says that we should do nothing that we should be ashamed to admit in public.

Never value anything as profitable to yourself which shall compel you to break your promise, to lose your self-respect, to hate any man, to suspect, to curse, to behave hypocritically, to desire anything which needs walls and curtains. — Meditations, 3.7

This sounds rather like something a Cynic philosopher might have said, perhaps. For Stoics as well, though, what matters most is simply whether an action is virtuous or not, and how others respond is ultimately indifferent.


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Stoicism and Anger Live

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Thank you , , , , , and many others for tuning into my live video with ! Join me for my next live video in the app.

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Socrates’ Athens and Modern Politics

This post was originally published on my Substack newsletter.

In this excerpt from the Introduction to my latest book, How to Think Like Socrates, I explain its relevance to the modern political climate. (Check out the audiobook, which has 4.8 stars from Audible reviewers.) Since the book was published, readers have noted more and more parallels between the Peloponnesian War, in which Socrates fought, and which shaped his philosophical concerns, and our modern world. Socratic philosophy can only be understood, I believe, in relation to the political rhetoric of the time. Philosophy, to a large extent, evolved as a remedy against the use of rhetoric to manipulate our emotions and our impression of the world. We need the same therapy today, to counter the effect of political propaganda and other forms of manipulation in the Age of the Internet.

Why Ancient Philosophy Matters Today

We should brace ourselves for the possibility that reflecting philosophically on our own deepest values may lead us to question some of the prevailing values of the society in which we live.

As I became more interested in Socrates’s life and the period in which he lived, I was struck by how many parallels there are with recent history. The Athens of Socrates was a fledgling democracy, in which the basic strengths and weaknesses of that system were laid bare. Their city initially flourished, and built up strong alliances, under the leadership of great statesmen, in whom the people believed wholeheartedly. Following the outbreak of a great war and a devastating pandemic, however, their trust in government was shaken, leading to a split between two political factions that became more extreme and polarized as they fought for control of the state. The political and legal systems of Athens strained under the weight of corruption, as their weaknesses were exploited to the maximum. Demagogues soon realized that populist measures and emotive rhetoric could be used to manipulate the people and to swing votes in the Assembly, by pandering to human weaknesses such as greed, fear, and anger.

Professional advisors, the Sophists, became increasingly famous, and staggeringly wealthy, by teaching politicians the art of persuasion. These men gave celebrated speeches themselves, which often exploited common insecurities and prejudices. A curious hybrid of political and self-improvement rhetoric evolved, which encouraged privileged young men to view contempt for their perceived inferiors as something “strong” and “manly.” The violent suppression of foreign nations abroad and total loss of faith in the democratic process at home led, in due course, to armed coups, political purges, and even civil war. Socrates didn’t explicitly align himself with any political faction or system of government, but rather his main concern was whether or not those wielding power possessed the wisdom and virtue that might make them competent to be in charge. He was, however, forced to watch as Athenian democracy was first hijacked by demagogues and then reverted to an “oligarchy,” or rule by the few, which ultimately collapsed into “tyranny,” or what we call “authoritarianism.”

I will leave it to you to observe more specific parallels between ancient Athens and our modern political landscape. Different people may perhaps draw quite different, and even opposing, conclusions about what lessons we should learn. Most of us can agree, however, that the struggles of Athenian democracy throughout the Peloponnesian War, which marked the main period of Socrates’s life with which we are concerned, provide a clear warning to us regarding both the fragility of the democratic system and its vulnerability to abuse. Socrates, if anything, was a critic of the Athenian democratic system, particularly the ease with which speakers could sway votes by pandering to the worst tendencies, or vices, of the people. Nevertheless, the ability to reason well and maintain self-awareness, then as now, may be our best defense against the rhetoric of fear and anger that threatens to tear our democracy apart, as it once tore apart that of Athens.

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Who is the Modern Cleon?

[In this excerpt, I describe the Athenian demagogue Cleon. You’ll arguably find similar politicians and political commentators today all around the world. This is a historically accurate depiction of how the Athenian empire was hijacked by demagogues.]

The war that followed the Battle of Potidaea exceeded any previously recorded in Western history. Whereas the Trojan War, if we are to believe Homer, had lasted ten years, this war between Athens and Sparta would last twenty-seven. The two main combatants were at the peak of their martial powers. Sparta had become the great beast of the land, with an infantry feared by every other nation. Athens had become the great beast of the sea, ruling the waves with a fleet of around three hundred ships. Most of the other Greek cities were forced to ally themselves with one side or the other, joining the Delian League of Athens or the Peloponnesian League of Sparta. The war would engulf the whole Mediterranean world and even drew in the neighboring “barbarian” races of Thrace and Persia.

The Periclean war strategy was clearly stated and well known to every citizen: Athens must refrain from further expansion […] and endure patiently until her enemies grew exhausted and sued for peace.

The Athenians called it the Peloponnesian War after the region in which Sparta and most of her allies were located. The Spartans must have thought of it as the Athenian War and, although its first phase is named after the Spartan king Archidamus, we might also think of it as the War of Pericles, the Athenian statesman under whom it began. The Periclean war strategy was clearly stated and well known to every citizen: Athens must refrain from further expansion, hold her existing empire together, avoid fighting the Spartans on the land, trust in her navy, retain total control of the waves, and endure patiently until her enemies grew exhausted and sued for peace. Though distasteful at first to many Athenians, who would rather have gone out to fight and defend their farmlands, this strategy was based on sound knowledge of Athens’s strengths and weaknesses as well as those of her adversaries. Pericles was now dead, however, and the course of the war would soon be shaped by the influence of political orators pushing for a change of strategy.

Although Pericles was a Democrat, and something of a populist, he tried to reconcile the interests of common people and aristocrats for the greater good of Athens, and he would challenge the will of the people where necessary. Cleon was also a Democrat, but more radically populist, and in some ways the opposite of Pericles. If Pericles was a moderate, Cleon was an outright firebrand. To garner support, he denounced the prudent but unpopular strategy of withdrawing the population within the city. Although he inherited a lucrative business, critics claimed that he entered politics heavily in debt. He used the war, they said, as a cover for enriching himself by extorting money from Athenian aristocrats and foreign allies, accepting bribes, and embezzling public funds.

Pericles had appealed to what was best in the people; Cleon to what was worst. He would yell insults at his opponents in the Assembly, running to and fro, hitching up his robe and slapping his thigh, for dramatic effect. It worked. The people found his unusually brash style more entertaining than the polished rhetoric of established statesmen such as Nicias. In the aftermath of the plague, as Athens tried to reassert herself, Cleon’s rhetoric became more violent, crude, and aggressive, as he attacked his critics rather than refuting them, but most often he carried the Assembly with him. Soon, this kind of outlandish behavior became normalized, and the political climate at Athens degenerated into partisan bickering. Genuine statesmen gave way to demagogues, who stoked the fear and anger of the citizens and pandered to their greed and other vices.

The change became evident the year after Pericles’s death, when Mytilene, the major city of the island of Lesbos, was discovered to have plotted a revolt against Athens, with aid from Sparta. Mytilene was one of the few members of the Delian League who avoided paying tribute to Athens by providing the coalition with crewed ships. In response to the revolt, the Athenians sent a fleet to blockade the city, while troops laid siege by land. When Spartan ships finally reached the northern Aegean, nine months into the campaign, Mytilene had already fallen. The Athenian Assembly was divided about what to do with the captives, presumably numbering tens of thousands. Cleon fumed that a show of strength was required: these foreigners are a threat to our state, he said, and they must be crushed. He moved that the entire male population of Mytilene should be put to death, and the women and children enslaved. The demagogue whipped up such outrage and lust for revenge among his fellow Athenians that they voted to send a trireme with orders for the troops surrounding Mytilene to carry out a massacre.

After reflecting on the decree overnight, however, many Athenians regretted the cruelty of the decision that Cleon had convinced them to make. They insisted on reconvening the Assembly. Cleon mounted the rostrum again and gave a speech that became infamous. The days of Pericles, in which sober debates about justice were the norm, were gone. Cleon launched into a shameless diatribe against the moderates who opposed him and, despite his own reputation for corruption, accused them of taking bribes. Yelling loudly above the opposing voices, he raged against the Mytileans, invoking every prejudice to blacken their name. An example must be made of their city, he boomed, warning other cities against contemplating revolt. The Athenians, he cried, were fooling themselves if they believed the Periclean myth that their empire was a civilized alliance of friends, held together by justice and diplomacy. They should realize it was pure despotism and their subjects were slaves, who must be forced into submission by punishing them until they learn to fear their masters. He induced terror in the assemblymen, stoking their fear of losing control and then working that fear up into anger and a lust for revenge. If Athens didn’t have the strength to punish her enemies, he said, they would punish her. Teach them, he roared, that the penalty for rebellion is death!

By punishing not only the powerful but the entire population, Athens risked losing its moral authority, which was the glue that held its fragile empire together.

After Cleon finally stepped down from the rostrum, the son of one of Pericles’s former advisers, a moderate, stepped forward and called for reason. The two things most opposed to good counsel, he said, were haste and anger. The Assembly should give themselves time for sober debate. Cleon, he said, was fearmongering and manipulating the vote by attacking the character of anyone who disagreed with him rather than answering their objections. There was no logic to his strategy. The punishment he had demanded was so extreme that it would blacken the reputation of Athens for many years to come. Support for democracy among the lower classes in other cities, he said, was their greatest political asset. By punishing not only the powerful but the entire population, Athens risked losing its moral authority, which was the glue that held its fragile empire together.

The Assembly voted, by a hair’s breadth, to change its decree. A second trireme raced through the night to catch the first ship, which had left a day earlier. Miraculously, it arrived just in time to avert a genocide. Cleon’s opponents would later accuse him of using the threat of a massacre to extort money, for his own pockets, from the residents of Mytilene.

Cleon had stood before the Athenian Assembly and castigated the democracy itself for being incapable of governing an empire. He complained that the debates permitted by the Assembly led to delay and indecision. The Assembly was too easily swayed by rhetoric and changed its mind too easily, he said. Weak laws, he argued, which are subject to change, were worse than bad ones applied consistently. During a war, he claimed, the Athenians needed a strong leader like him, to save them from the chaos caused by indecision. Of course, by accusing his political opponents of corruption and escalating conflicts with other states, he could make this need appear more urgent.

It should have been obvious that Cleon was doing the very thing he accused his enemies of doing: manipulating the debate, through appeals to emotion rather than reason. Like many authoritarians, he managed to combine demagoguery and antidemocratic rhetoric. Socrates watched from a distance, observing how easily Cleon was able to conceal his own corruption by accusing his critics of corruption, undermining the democratic process, while posing as a champion of the people and promising to be their savior. Democracy worked if the people behaved rationally, but once they fell completely under the spell of a demagogue, rule by the people became a form of tyranny in disguise.

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